We’ve done a bunch of these questionnaires to this point, and one thing seems to provide a common bond – you all certainly do love to pick on those poor Islanders.
Enter Dominik.
Dominik is the hilarious proprietor of Lighthouse Hockey and an avid Islanders fan ready to take a few swings at some other teams for a change (read: the Rangers). He’s also a self-admitted 80s hockey junkie and the owner of a jersey that probably only CC could love…read on:
What is the first jersey you ever owned?
A Blues jersey, when I was 5. This was back when — in my area, at least — they sold blank jerseys and crests separately, so you had to (get Mom to) sew the logo on the chest. The selection of each was awful and unmatching. I actually have a Capitals logo wrongly (but happily) sewed on to a blank white Habs jersey from back then. The options were absurd and offensive.
Anyway, I had my own name screened on the Blues jersey with #99, because I didn’t think Gretzky should be the only one (sorry, Wilf Paiement, but you didn’t count). Obviously, at age 5 I was an idiot.
What is the last piece of hockey memorabilia – jerseys, cards, figurines, etc. – you purchased?
The Islanders third/retro royal jersey. It is my first and only RBK (vowels not included) jersey.
Keep your ticket stubs or throw them away?
Keep, although I’ve never done anything with them. Me, pack rat. I must confess concert stubs are more meaningful; I come across hockey stubs and wonder, “What the hell happened at *this* game?” When I die, hopefully those soften the blow of loved ones finding my … other stuff.
Who has the more intriguing hair – Brian Engblom or Barry Melrose?
Englom. Neither exist outside the laboratory, but at least I understand how Melrose’s happens.
Who is the most underrated player in the league? The most overrated?
Under: Every Islander. Over: Every Ranger.
What current rule or penalty would you remove from the game and why?
The one that says fans must be subjected to 13.5 seconds of piped-in crap music after every whistle. Let the organist breathe; let the play on the ice speak for itself. Don’t price passionate fans out of the game — then you won’t have to teach the suits when to cheer.
What one rule or penalty would you add?
A general Spirit of the Game/Don’t Be a Dick Rule for Sean Avery-types who pull something everyone knows is wrong but nonetheless pretend swinging a high stick in front of a goalie’s face away from the play isn’t covered by existing unsportsmanlike conduct rules. (This is your stick: It’s for use on the puck — not on a spleen, a wrist, a face, nor the airspace in front of a goaltender’s face. Got that?)
There’s no rule against taking a dump on an opponent, either, but I’m pretty sure that has nothing to do with the intent of the game.
Forget predictions and rankings and who finished where last year – all logic aside, what two teams (one East, one West) would you love to see compete for the Cup this year?
The Islanders and Blues, because it would be personal misery and ecstasy for me all at once. Like that INXS singer.
Complete this sentence: The next Winter Classic should be between the New York Islanders and Edmonton Oilers, and take place at Yankee Stadium. [Screw the Rangers.]
More disturbing image – Crosby with a “mustache” or Crosby in bed with the Cup?
Mustache. When the continent’s smaller, more genteel country stalks a kid’s every move since age 13, it’s a little jarring to watch him go through puberty during the Stanley Cup playoffs.
Which team has the best mascot?
You know how people psychologically shut out bad memories and pretend they never happened? I’ve no knowledge or recollection of any NHL mascots.
Whose press conference would you rather listen to – John Tortorella, Bruce Boudreau or Ron Wilson?
Boudreau is the only one who doesn’t spew B.S. (yet). But Torts is classic and honest. Don’t rule out Mike Keenan: the doublespeak is hilarious, and it’s even better when you know he doesn’t realize you can’t motivate players simply by scaring the crap out of them anymore.
Who is your favorite all-time player? Who is your favorite active player?
Mike Bossy. There is no better statement than responding to constant abuse and cheap shots not by losing your temper and hurting your team, but by scoring 50 goals for 10 years. Of course, having your career cut short due to the consequent back injuries kinda sucks.
Active: I guess I’ve been soured by modern times or something; I don’t really have a favorite anymore. But I bet I have a man-crush on Tavares by November. Currently, Mark Streit is sweetness and skill personified.
Give us your favorite hockey saying that doubles as a dirty euphemism.
”Backside pressure” is always good, but there’s nothing like “he squeezes it between the pillows.”
What game(s) on your team’s schedule are you most looking forward to this season?
Honestly, the Rangers are always a great game — even when the on-ice play sucks. Islanders-Blues is rare, but always good for a personal existential crisis. Somehow, there are two of those this year.
Do you read team-specific blogs about teams other than your own? Which ones and why?
Too, too many. Being on SB Nation is a time killer, because it’s far too easy to hop among team blogs constantly. St. Louis Game Time is wonderfully foul yet somehow pure. Battle of California is a yin-yang of SoCal chill. There are tons more, too many to list.
Beyond SBN, Lowetide because the entire Oilers blogosphere is hilariously navel-gazingly analytical; Down Goes Brown would still be funny if it were about chess. Four Habs Fans for the self-abuse. Heroes in Rehab (Toronto) for the balance of hockey obsession with the recognition that life contains other wonders, too. [CC's Note: Lies.]
Do you think the NHL will ever put a team in Hamilton, Kansas City and/or Las Vegas?
As a fan of the 21-team NHL and nostalgic sap, my views are complex on this. I used to think they’d do K.C. just for Anschutz, but I wonder if him not telling the league about his loan to Boots thing has weakened that.
Las Vegas would be silly at this point, so it probably happens. Hamilton or that region will get another team at some point — it makes too much sense — but I doubt it will be soon. I think the league will push the existing new markets to the brink before deciding which ones to renege on.
I don’t like Balsillie because I don’t trust anyone who thinks he’s god’s gift to [insert something dear to me, okay fine: hockey].
Everyone’s got a guilty pleasure – what player and/or team do you like that you really shouldn’t?
I realize this is the wrong answer for a Caps blog, but I’ve always had a soft spot for the Penguins. I’ve just never hated them. Maybe because the Islanders and Blues have had nothing but playoff success against them. Or maybe because it’s hard to conjure hatred for that silly skating Penguin with the vintage gloves.
Mario Lemieux is the ideal hockey player: Size, speed, agility, passing, shooting, a quiet this-is-how-it’s-done demeanor. When Jagr was there, I could focus my derision toward him — and I’m even half-Czech.
What team has improved the most this summer?
I don’t look at anyone and think, “wow, they made huge strides this summer.” Little things like Knuble to the Caps were very smart moves. Meanwhile, Toronto won’t get a whole lot of bang for all that buck they spent.
So I’ll say the Islanders: Going from Streit + Okposo + nothing to Streit + Okposo + Tavares + a little is huge!
What is your favorite hockey memory?
Listening to games in distant markets via radio with my dad. We’d catch Pittsburgh, Detroit, Chicago. That or the table hockey league (Stiga rules!) we ran out of our house. We kept player stats and everything. Once I wrested the title from him, I never gave it back.
Which team has the worst jersey? How about the worst third/specialty jersey?
Atlanta’s one-sleeve deal. I’ve tried, I can’t accept it. But RBK (vowels not included) ruined everyone’s uniforms. Even the Caps — great, great return to tradition, but imagine how cool it could be without the forced RBK template?
Roll out your favorite homemade player nickname(s).
I’m a fan of Bill “McNulty” Guerin because I can’t watch The Wire without thinking of him, and vice versa.
If you could move any uprooted team (e.g. Quebec Nordiques, Hartford Whalers, etc.) back to their original home, which one would you move?
All of them. Each move tore at my soul. I would love to reverse all of them, North Stars included.
But chiefly: The Nordiques back to Quebec, where they should have rightly won a Cup in those beautiful blues, and where they could still hold it over Montreal’s head to this day, times two.
But Colorado doesn’t lose out, because then I’d move the Devils back to Denver. So those chillaxing mountain folks would actually have one more Cup out of the deal than they do now. Then I’d move the Rangers to Newark, if they must have a team.
What will Jeremy Roenick’s next career move be?
Becoming Sammy Hagar: Creating odes to himself until he realizes no one cares.
Have you ever stopped rooting for one hockey team and started rooting for another? If so, what made you switch?
No, but I root for two teams fervently (Islanders and Blues), which is almost as bad. But it’s in my DNA, a product of my upbringing and Al Arbour’s connection to both (teams, not my upbringing/DNA).
Hey, at least no one can call me a front-runner.
Who had the better mug shot, Kane or Finley?
Tough to say. Finley had that pederast-in-a-movie look, while Kane looked like his victim.
Enough of this geography crap; toss out the current divisions and propose a new divisional alignment for the league.
First, the Patrick Division must be restored. Welcome back, Caps. We missed you. Then: screw geography? I say screw balanced divisions. We don’t need to force balanced numbers — the six-team Patrick did fine when everyone else had five. And put the Northeast and Southeast together, so that they have to replicate the travel that Western teams must deal with. Then, let Buffalo join the Patrick, just for the hell of it. (Patrick gets easy travel just because…it is so.)
SMYTHE: Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, San Jose, Los Angeles, Anaheim, Phoenix
NORRIS: Colorado, Minnesota, Dallas, St. Louis, Chicago, Nashville, Detroit, Columbus
PATRICK: Long Island, New York, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Washington, Buffalo
ADAMS: Carolina, Florida, Tampa Bay, Atlanta, Montreal, Boston, Ottawa, Toronto
Do you follow other sports besides hockey or are you a one-sport fan?
I watch soccer, which I used to be able to do on VCR/DVR time delay, but now the Internet spoils results for me during the day. Otherwise, I have actively eliminated baseball and football from my life to make more time for self-betterment. And by betterment, I mean hockey.
Which free agent acquisition do you think will have the biggest impact on his new team?
Marian Gaborik will impact the Rangers by making them realize 30 games of Gaborik is almost like 75 games of Gomez.
Of the five lottery teams last season (Tampa, Atlanta, NY Islanders,
Phoenix, Colorado) which one(s) will make the playoffs this year?
None, although I wish Atlanta and Phoenix would.
What is your favorite hockey reference in a non-hockey movie/TV episode?
Cameron sporting a Gordie Howe jersey throughout Ferris Bueller’s Day Off rather rocked. What … have there been references since then?
What player from the other 29 teams would you love to have on your team?
[CC’s Note: Dominik is also an overachiever...]
Anaheim- Scott Niedermayer
Atlanta- Kovalchuk
Boston- Lucic
Buffalo- Grier
Calgary- Craig Conroy
Carolina- Sentimentally, Brind’Amour
Chicago- Stan Mikita
Colorado- Paul Stastny
Columbus- Mmmm…Nash
Dallas- Brendan Morrow
Detroit- Datsyuk
Edmonton- Glenn Anderson
Florida- Booth
Los Angeles- Dustin Brown
Minnesota- Havlat
Montreal- Gaston Gingras
Nashville- Arnott
New Jersey- Peter Statstny
NYR- I would drown them all like kittens on a farm
Ottawa- Alfredsson
Philadelphia- Pronger
Phoenix- Doan
Pittsburgh- Sidney Crosby
San Jose- Boyle
St. Louis- TJ Oshie
Tampa Bay- Victor Hedman
Toronto- Tomas Kaberle
Vancouver- Harold Snepsts
Washington- Scott Stevens
Superlative time!
– Best one-on-one offensive player – Ovechkin
– Best one-on-one defenseman – Pronger
– Best assist man – Crosby
– Best pure goal scorer – Ovechkin
– Power-play specialist – Aw hell … Streit?
– Shorthanded specialist – Mike Richards? It changes like the flavor of the month
– Worst referee – Paul Devorski
– Goalie when you need one save – Khabibulin (Many saves? Probably someone else)
– The guy a lot of people have never heard of (but should have) – Frans Nielsen
– When it gets chippy – Brind’Amour of yesteryear
– Coach for a must-win game – I guess Bylsma, now. He took two of ‘em.
– Get under your skin guy – Avery
– The home crowd – Chicago
– Worst arena to play in as a visitor – I assume Toronto, because the gossipy media swarm you and then the actual rink has a lower bowl full of suits?
– Worst arena to play in as the home team – I suspect Phoenix’s will suck this year.
And finally, quick picks. Do you prefer:
– Crosby or Ovechkin? Whoever’s fanbase is feeling less disrespected that week.
– Ovechkin or Malkin? Ovechkin
– Overtime or shootout? Good god, OT
– 4-on-3 or 5-on-4? 4-on-3
– Sakic or Yzerman? Sakic
– Kerry Fraser or Bill McCreary? null set
– Montreal Forum or Maple Leaf Gardens? The Aud, the St. Louis Arena and Chicago Stadium.
– Roy or Brodeur? Hasek
– Touch-up icing or no-touch icing? Touch-up icing
– Fedorov or Mogilny? Fedorov
– Top shelf or five hole? Fake 5-hole, go stick-side
– Eddie Olczyk or Pierre McGuire? Billy Jaffe (NYI) is where it’s at
– Slapshot or wrist shot? Wrist shot. More accurate, and I’m too cheap to have to buy blades all the time
– Orr or Coffey? Orr. He played defense, too.
– Coffee or tea? Coffee, like oxygen
– Canada or Russia? Czech Republic
– Miracle or Mighty Ducks? Miracle and Slapshot are the only two decent hockey films.
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